So your child is obese...

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Nobody needs to tell your dear child that he or she is overweight.  They already know, and they are already trying to process it any way they can.  Unfortunately, without your help, the way they process it could lead to further problems like secret eating and low self esteem.  Go ahead and talk with your child about weight. Allow him or her to tell you about feelings that she may not have talked about before. We went through many of the same things.  There’s nothing new under the sun.  Being picked last for teams, being teased at school, struggling in sports, being ridiculed or having difficulty fitting into clothes are just a few of the pains overweight children may have to endure. 

You are the absolute best person to talk to your child about his or her weight because nobody loves your child more.  Therefore, nobody else can empathize as you can.  These frustrations and pains need to be expressed by your child and then validated by you.  Don’t shrink back; it’s the right thing to do.  Encourage.  Listen.  Validate, Empathize.  RELATE.  Be available.

Unconditional love and acceptance are the life-blood of a child who struggles with weight problems.  You are the primary source of such love, so pour it on with reckless abandon.

Don’t do anything too harsh or rash like super strict diets…it will backfire.  Rather, make small adjustments here and there to put the right things to eat in front of your child.  The last thing you should do is to highlight the fact your child is overweight by over-reacting with harsh diets.  That could spell rejection, which is the opposite of unconditional love.

Kids come in all shapes and sizes, and genetic pre-disposition can be a hard taskmaster.  That’s why good habits and small steady adjustments are the best defense against the propensity for your child to be overweight.

We speak about water a lot, for obvious reasons.  However, we are not concerned about kids drinking more water because we’re in the water business.  We’re in the water business because we’re concerned about kids drinking more water.  That disclaimer said, ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO DRINK MORE WATER!  It will greatly aid metabolism, it will help them to process their meals, and it will “fill the gap” with something healthy and life-giving rather than something fattening like sugary sodas, sweets or even juice.

Your example is the absolute best thing you can offer your child.  If you want him or her to develop good eating and drinking habits, exhibit good eating and drinking habits.

Resist the urge to set a timetable for weight loss.  In fact, weight loss is not the issue at all…good habits are.  Rather than a timetable, make a LIFE change.  Over time, you will begin to see the benefits not only in your child’s weight but in their overall good health.  The good news is, kids learn fast.  It may not seem like it when it’s time to make the bed, but it’s true.  Go for “possible”, not “perfect”. 

Children learn fast, and they learn best by example. Teach your child habits that will help keep her healthy for the rest of her life.

Pick Five:  Choose five realistic goals, such as substituting fatty foods for healthy ones; serving water instead of soda; buy flavoured water instead of juice (shameless but true); buy complex carbohydrates instead of simple ones.

Finally, be patient.  Be patient.  Be patient.  And above all, pour on the unconditional love and affirmation…it’s better to have a slightly overweight child who knows they are loved than a skinny one who doesn’t.

Sincerely,
The Pin

Rainy Days and Mondays: Indoor activities for kids.

Rainy summer days can be a bummer unless you have plenty of things to do to keep your children happy.  Remember, the thing they want most is YOUR TIME, so here are some ideas to use the rainy days to help build a bond with them and have fun too!

• Fill a large plastic bin with different shaped dry pastas dry beans rice whatever you can buy least expensively. Give them cups and "sand" toys and you have a winter alternative to the sandbox. (Spread a sheet under the bin they will get it everywhere then you can just gather up the sheet and dump it back in the bin.)
• Listen to a book on CD from the library or better yet...read to them.
• Camp in the house. One of our tents can be set up without the stakes so we have camp outs in the living room and make smores in the microwave. You can always drape a blanket over a table.
• Make a tower from paper cups as tall as you can. Then remove the bottom piece and watch it tumble.
• Subscribe or go to Family Fun's website. They always have a ton of creative ideas to try!
• Invite some friends over
• Learn something new together.... A foreign language, an instrument, how to sew, candle making, jewelry making, typing, etc.....
• Think up 100 things you can do besides watch TV
• Movie night - a special night a week where we rent a kid-friendly movie and eat popcorn.
• Make a teepee
• Let them sort your spools of thread or stick pins into your pin cushion (if you think he wouldn't hurt himself).
• Write on a white board we all like that!
• Make your own word search puzzles
• Make a book of favorite animals, trees, bugs, etc.
• Kids' Aerobics Video.
• Play basketball with the Little Tikes basketball hoop.
• Line up empty bottles of Luna and Lara (or whatever you have) etc and get a ball and bowl
• Go to the local appliance store and get large refrigerator boxes etc and make big forts (similar to McDonald's playland...okay use your imagination). The kids can have hours of fun running through them turning off the lights and using flashlights getting dad to play monster and even sleeping in them. You can also decorate them with paint or turn them into cars etc.  I have even seen playhouses made that include curtains wallpaper etc. Check your local library for "The Great Big Box Book" by Flo Ann Hedley Norvell.
• Play chase
• Install a chin up bar.
• Set up an obstacle course in the living room or the basement using chairs with pillows over them (kids crawled under) different things to make circles they could step in with different feet a jump rope and a mini-trampoline.
• Play racquetball in the garage or cellar (as long as you don't mind ball marks all over your walls)
• Have an indoor "snowball" fight. Divide; give each one a stack of newspapers yell go and they have to wad up the sheets of newspaper into "snowballs" and throw them. Great fun! Last part is seeing who can gather the most balls into a trash bag!
• Jump on a mini trampoline
• Clean out a drawer
• Clean the house fold laundry do dishes vacuum the rug... - Hee Hee
• Help a child re-organize or decorate his/her room
• Let them sort your cupboards from their favourite food to their least favourite.
• Plan a treasure hunt
• Do a craft
• Use large dry beans (limas etc.) and school glue and let him glue beans onto heavy paper or old folders. (You could dribble out a line of glue in the shape of something fun--a car for example--and then let him press the beans onto it.)
• Save boxes and containers then give them a roll of foil and duct tape and let them create.
• Make & send a card to someone who needs encouragement
• Start a new collection of something (besides dust :o)
• Color
• Make and color paper dolls
• Draw a picture together - take turns adding details
• Grab a pencil a notebook and practice drawing as a family
• Have him draw a picture and tell a story about it (you write down the story) and send it to Grandma.
• Start early to plan homemade gift ideas for Christmas!
• If he or she can cut get some old magazines glue sticks paper and cut out pictures and glue them to paper.
• Finger-paint with chocolate pudding on a paper plate then lick the plate clean :-)
• Work on family photo album together
• Perform an experiment
• Play with the globe
• Make play dough
• Make puppets
• Rubber Stamp
• Bake or cook together
• Bake cookies and invite a neighbor over to help eat them
• If you have a fireplace do a hotdog roast and make s'mores.
• Have a picnic inside on the floor
• Play board & card games!
• Make up your own game
• Charades
• Play ‘How many things can you remember to do?’: Give them a list of activities and make the list longer each time. For example hop to the door knock on it 2 times crawl under the dining room table and do the crab walk back to me. If they successfully complete this then I name 5 things the next time.
• Bake some goodies to take to your community's firemen or policemen & attach a card telling them how much you appreciate their work to keep us safe
• Make a treat or meal for someone going through a hard time
• Write a letter to a relative/friend
• Play dress up
• Put a blanket on the floor and pretend you are on boat fishing etc...
• Play post office
• Playing 'restaurant': make the menus set the table take orders serve
• Play school: you are the student & kids take turns being the teacher
• Play store
• Have a tea party
• Sing
• Grab a pillow and a blanket and lay them in your lap and sing with them.
• Make music (pots and pans etc)
• Tell a story (can't use a book).
• Give them a wide roll of masking tape and let them go to town making "roads" for Matchbox cars.
• Yahtzee or Uno
• K'nex!
• Legos
• Puzzles are contagious. Just start one on the table and they won't be able to keep away from it!
• Learn to do tricks with a yo yo
• Fill the tub or sink w/water & float boats
• Long playtime in the bath (use the baby monitor so you can keep an ear out for any trouble he may have or for if he or she needs you).
• "Washing" dishes at the sink--get a big pan of soapy water some plastic bowls and cups and let him stand on a chair and play.
• Write a story
• Write postcards or better yet a letter
• Make a family "newspaper" of recent events or happenings

Straight Talk about Bottles and Oil

There are many articles and studies that have been done to demonize bottled water.  It's difficult to find objective data on the subject.  All of the top search results are dripping with rhetoric and fast math (and some mighty big belt buckles).  This agenda makes it difficult to put one's hands on the actual data.  Statistics can say anything if one is creative enough.

After a few hours of research, its clear that America consumes about 9.26 million barrels of oil per day to fuel its cars.  By contrast, it takes about 46,000 barrels of oil per day to supply America's demand for bottled water.  So America uses 200 times more oil to fuel its cars than it does to make the bottles for its bottled water demand.  It's also true that soft drinks, milk and beer account for 75% of America's bottled water demand.  Yet water seems to be the only product under public scrutiny.

99.7% of America's oil consumption is for things other than bottles.  So before we demonize the industry responsible for less than one third of one percent of the nation's aggregate oil demand, let's look at alternative modes of transportation and alternative forms of energy and put the emphasis in the right place.  Of this one third of one percent, Luna and Lara accounts for less than 1% of the US bottled water market.

It is important for us as parents to stress the importance of recycling to our children.  PET plastic is 100% recyclable, and every effort should be made to ensure that it is recycled and reused.

Luna and Lara exists to encourage children to drink more water.  The characters, songs, attractive design and stories all serve this one single purpose.  It is 100% pure Irish spring water, not filtered, purified tap water.  The difference is real, and it is clear.  If children naturally gravitated toward what was good for them, there would be no need for all of this song and dance.  But children are overwhelmed with advertising for things that are not good for them, so we have to fight the battle where it is, in the minds of our children on the internet, the television, and other media.  Left to themselves, children do not tend to choose plain water over its fizzy or juicy competitors.

Nothing would please us more than to hear that children's consumption of tap water increased to the point where they are properly hydrated each day.  Pure spring water is better than tap, but tap is still better than sugary sodas.  According to child nutritionists, it's better than fruit juice as well.

Until the statistics concerning child obesity and child dehydration change, we will continue encouraging children to drink pure spring water.  We will also continue to encourage responsible recycling and keep in proper perspective its impact upon the environment.

Sincerely,
The Pin

World Energy Consumption
Bottled Water Statistics
US Vehicle Oil Consumption
Energy Implications of Bottled Water
Water Not Juice

Obesity Reaching Epidemic Proportions

Wall Street Journal reports Colorado is the only state in the union with lower than 20% obesity.

Cover Up!

You aren't the boss of me!

 

Luna and Lara understand the difficulties of raising children in a world where rebellion and unhealthy behaviour is encouraged at every turn.  Picture the children who habitually lose temper, argue with adults, actively defy or refuse adults’ requests and rules, and deliberately do things to annoy other people. Add to it the tendency to blame others for their misbehavior. You know for sure that they aren't popular either with adults or peers.

Children, who defy and do the opposite of what parents tell them, often start exhibiting these behaviors from age 2 or 3. Defiant behavior should be handled promptly and carefully. Do not laugh it off as simply a "cute" behavior. Defiant behavior is a progressive problem and if untreated, gets worse.

Defiant behaviors first show up at home at age 2 or 3. By age 8 or 9, a defiant child is hard to get along at school as well. Research shows that at the playground a defiant child tends to be rejected by his or her peers within the first 20 minutes. Defiant children are often angry and hostile in their interaction with peers. They coerce rather than cooperate with other children. They first start violating the rules of the home, and, if untreated, they start violating the rules of the school. By age 12 or 13, they use tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs, and start breaking the rules of society.

It is much easier to treat defiant behavior between age 2 to 5, then after age 12. In one research, psychological parenting techniques were shown to work in about 75 percent of cases of children under 10, but only in 25% of cases of children over age 12.
Parents of defiant children feel frustrated. Many have used severest consequences for undesirable behaviors, but, "nothing seems to work." Research shows that it is not the severity, but the immediacy of the consequences that matters. Consequences are most effective when delivered within seconds rather than minutes or hours. One research shows that "dysfunctional parents" delivered consequences, on average, between 30 to 60 minutes.

The problem is that many parents unduly delay the consequences for defiant behaviors or they provide consequences inconsistently. An even bigger problem is that some of those parents hardly ever reward compliant behavior.

Some parents ignore or try to tolerate defiant behavior until they can’t take it anymore and than they try to teach the child the "lesson of his (or her) life." That just confuses and enrages a child even more. Angry and irritable parents often have angry and irritable children. Some parents have the attitude, "I will deal with you as I feel at the moment." Their child also deals with them as he or she feels.

Here is some advice for parents of 2 to 10 year olds. Treat the problem early. Early intervention also prevents serious behavioral problems in the future. Deliver a negative consequence for a defiant behavior within 10 seconds. Reward a compliant behavior within 10 seconds.  This system of punishment and reward will quickly train a child and begin to alter his or her behaviour.  When rewarding a child, avoid using sweets as reward.  This puts a harmful premium on the acqusition of unhealthy food, so you are in fact solving one problem and creating another.  Instead use healthy snacks as a reward, or better yet leave food out of the equation altogether.

Psychologist Russel Barkley of international fame has this advice for parents, "Act. Don’t yak." Talking about how bad the behavior was is not helpful. Calm and consistent action is helpful. Calmly handle a defiant behavior by delivering the consequences and don’t spend too much time in talking about your frustrations, such as, how "sick and tired" and "disappointed" you are by your child’s non-compliance. Such expressions make parents appear weak and at a loss, and may be counter productive.

Do you have the attitude, "Why do I need to change, the problem is with my child and not me?" Parents who say "yes" to the question may often be butting heads with their children. You can force your child to submission but you can’t truly change your child without changing yourself. You have to change first before you can change your child.

Ask yourself, "What did my "worst" and the "best" supervisor do? Write down the characteristic behaviors of both. Do not act around your child as your worst supervisor did around you. Act around your child as your best supervisor did around you. When you change as a parent, chances are that your child will change too.

When a child has been misbehaving for sometime, parents naturally want to fix it right away. So they look for more draconian methods to raise the ante for a bad behavior. Perhaps, it works for a little while and then the child raises his or her resistance to match the severity of the punishment. Thus, attempts for disciplining fail, breeding more frustration and anger in the parents.
Positive attention and positive interaction are two major tools to shape a child’s behavior.

Attend to your child’s positive behavior. Don’t assume a nonchalant attitude towards a positive behavior because "that is how children should behave all the time." Your child may sometime be at his best to please you, so be pleased and express your pleasure. Find activities, hobbies, and games in which you and your child can have increasingly positive interaction. Your child may want to please you even more.

Principal writing by child psychologist Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D
Additional writing by The Pin